Previous Months' Topics

Ask the NFP Expert

Theresa Notare has worked for the U.S. bishops in natural family planning promotion for 20 years, and has heard every question and argument from all sides. She is assistant director of the Secretariat for Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, and holds a doctorate from the Catholic University of America.

What's the #1 question couples have about NFP?

The number one question that couples ask is, “What is NFP?” 

Believe it or not, the majority of couples do not know what Natural Family Planning is. They do not know that these natural methods are based on the observable signs of fertility in the woman’s menstrual cycle. They do not know the real biological science behind these methods. They have vague ideas about the woman’s “fertile window” as opposed to the man’s 24/7 fertility. Bottom line? They just don’t know about their own bodies!

A “close second” to this question is, “But if married couples want to have children, what difference does it make to use contraception rather than NFP?” 

Most people are so focused on the practical idea of almost “needing” to be very “precise” about the number of children in their marriages, that they rarely consider the possibility that “God has a plan for your marriage!” 

As the U.S. bishops have written in their document, Married Love and the Gift of Life, “NFP respects the God-given power to love a new human life into being even when we are not actively seeking to exercise that power” (p. 13). Remember, in every conjugal act, the fullness of the marriage is there with all its promise to become one-flesh and to co-create with God. Couples are free to discern with the Lord how many children to have in their family, but they are never free to do so by suppressing God’s gift of fertility. NFP respects God’s plan for marriage. NFP does nothing to oppose the gifts of conjugal union and procreation!

How do you promote NFP in a culture that is all about contraception?

You ask people, “Do you want lifelong love?” If the answer is yes, then we need to help them see that contraception is not the answer, it is not part of God’s plan for their marriages.

A strategy to promote NFP needs to explore some basic considerations (such as bodily health), and address what people want in life – in this case, “life-long” marriage!

Here are some additional thoughts:

Bodily health

We need to connect more consciously the current interest in environmental care to the human body. This has both personal and global implications.

On a personal level, it’s important for people to consider the health of the body, after all, who wants to be sick? People need to have solid information on the side effects of contraception. They need to understand how use of contraceptives pollutes their own bodies! Most people do not know the specific health risks to many contraceptives. 

On a global level, people do not consider how contraceptives may contribute to polluting the environment. In addition to pharmaceutical plants cranking out all kinds of contraceptives that are either made of, or wrapped in plastics (which carry their own environmental problems), there are other more dangerous effects. For example, the wide use of chemical contraception by women (e.g., “the Pill”) is finding a presence in our water supply. Currently environmental scientists are looking at the presence of estrogen in rivers. They are trying to identify the role of estrogen in causing male fish to grow female eggs. Of course, they also think that the use of plastics contributes to this problem!

People need to know that there is an alternative to artificial contraception. They need to know that NFP methods are healthy, effective and natural.  They need to know that NFP is the green way to go in family planning!

Lifelong love

We need to ask people if they want “lifelong love.” This is a very personal question. If people want this, then we need to tell them how they can get it. Following God’s plan for married love is the best way people can be happy.

We need to point out the destructive behaviors that will keep people from their goal of lifelong love. The current culture of promiscuity where people are encouraged to have sex with any willing partner, and use contraception, is not making people happy. If it was making people happy then why do almost half of marriages still break up in divorce? In addition, why are more couples cohabiting and choosing not to marry?

We need to question the idea of sex outside of marriage. We need to ask whether the practice of contraception has a role to play in promoting this practice. In other words, we need to ask people what role contraception is playing in promoting behavior that disables a person’s ability to commit for life. Crafting a response to this problem requires an engaging conversation where we can wake people from this cultural sleep!

Contraceptive sex has also impacted world population rates. Europe is in a population winter. They do not have enough people to replace themselves! In fact, population scholars are now admitting that they never thought that people would choose to not have children. Only the use of contraception could have created this chaos.

For more information, visit the USCCB’s NFP website.